my girlfriend wanted more than the amount of children you can adopt in skyrim so she taught herself how to mod it so that you could adopt them all, and uploaded it to a skyrim modding community so other likeminded player could utilize her code.
months later, an update was added to skyrim that was basically her code, verbatim, lifted directly from the mod, without credit or even permission. this made her so angry that she, at age seventeen, booked a flight to maryland, went to bethesda headquarters and demanded to see todd himself to yell at him.
of course, she was immediately denied this request and escorted out of the building because she was a scary six foot seventeen year old canadian lesbian who had flown all the way to yell at a man who probably had no idea her code was stolen, but she is still legitimately, 100% furious with him to this day
i fucking love her.
FACE YOUR CRIMES, HOWARD
i’ve long since retired from collecting fake internet stories but this stands out in my mind as one that’s just so bold faced and iconic because at no point in skyrim was there an update that allowed you to adopt more than 2 children. i love this post
office jobs will have you beefing with somebody’s horrible grandma like it’s normal. kathy you belong in a memory care facility you can’t talk to me that way
remembering the time i was at a sleepover in like 7th grade and i convinced my all-guy friend group that there was a movie out there called “adam sandlers Extremely ass” and they all believed i was telling the truth . i kept talking about it like “haha this reminds me of the dinner scene in adam sandlers extremely ass” as if it were a well known thing like i would go dude you HAVENT seen adam sandlers extremely ass and they spent like 30 minutes looking for it on demand
vaguely remember being fast asleep in the basement next to the couch when i was woken up by a tapping menu interface sound on the big tv they had down there and when i peered my head around the armrest i saw One Kid the only one in the house that was awake other than me with the tv remote in his hand searching for terms like “adam ass movie” “an extremely ass” “adam ass sandler movie” “very ass adam” and each time he found nothing he would just stare at the tv in disbelief
this is the only thing i can like concretely remember from when i was in middle school btw. like i can remember bits and pieces of that 3 year span but not any like whole experiences. but somehow this memory is the only one i can vividly recall. this one
“get a job” as an insult: piddlin. implies one’s value is determined by employment. feeds into capitalistic ideals
“get a hobby”: strong. cutting. implies that instead of feeding your soul and potentially creating something beautiful, you are here bothering me.
first step to everything is to get terrified and scared
you ever open a message and think ‘what the fuck am I supposed to say to this’
we’re the only animals that know what will happen later in the day
deer: “who knows. i might find a river. i may be attacked by wolves”
man, gods favorite creature: “tonight i will indulge in overwatch pornography”
